Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Online Dating

SO my roomate joined J-date which means no computer for me. I am actually happy for her. The whole online dating thing doesn't seem that bad. Not that I ever thought it was bad. I just never thought very highly of it. The only impression I have ever had of it was from my friend who went on a crazy dating frenzy after he and his girlfriend of years broke up. That is sort of where my roomate is now. She is freshly out of a two year plus relationship and she has some major spunk. Spunk meaning she needs some male attention maybe a date or two with hot med students. I hope that she finds Mr. spunky guy who is looking for some one like her. It's exciting to be IMed by a hot med student or potential lawyer who wants to know more about you.

I too just ended a long term relationship and think I would try the online dating thing. If nothing else, it is good networking. Living in the East Village I meet many trendy New Yorkers, mostly artists, to converse with. But, thats not really me. I think it would be fun and educational for all to meet other New Yorkers stuck in the same neighborhood slump.

My roomate made another good point. She said that it is perfect of people who have the time, but not the energy to go out to a bar searching for good company. And bars don't always have good company. With a job, internship, school and an overall passion for life, finding better company than my friends doesn't seem to plausible right now. Maybe I'm getting old or becoming more open-minded. But, she might be one to something here. To bad I'm not Jewish.

Censorship by server

So the computer system at my work decided that my occasional blogging was unproductive and has hence blocked this site from their server. Not knowing this for a day or so, I lost about four or five posts to the great graveyard that they call cyberspace. To give you a run down of those post: I gave mention to Brittany and her getting married to a baby daddy in the house of some random tailor. Most interesting mention in the story, I read that at 1 am the wedding party all walked out of the tailors home wearing velour suits. Pink for the ladies and white for the Pimps. Which by the way, actually said 'pimp' on them. It like white trash meets Hollywood wedding. Or maybe its just trash. That's enough space on Brittany.

I also congratulated Frasier for its stunning sweep at the Oscars. Against Friends and Sex in the City, all three shows in their final seasons, Frasier and its actors walked away with at least three awards in the major competitive categories (ie best actor and supporting in a comedy series).

Also Jon Stuart won two awards for the Daily Show on Comedy Central. Maybe it is because Jon has a way of making politics interesting. I find that I retain all the Bin Laden jib jab that I hear on the show ten times fast than I do reading the Times. And the writing IS impeccable. Congrats on your Oscar JON. More top news, Skeet Davis died. Her song End of the World won my heart (more like wrenched my soul) on the Girl Interrupted soundtrack.

That’s the run down... I'll try to keep you posted. As in actually posted and not blocked blogging.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Stilettos

Dress up any outfit, including jeans and a zip up sweater. Today I opted for the fancy foot wear because I needed to look nice enough for my internship but I wanted to be comfy for my maybe maybe-not date after woods. Anyway, the six avenue walk was not as bad as I thought it would be. I never thought I would be a stilettos-during-the-day kind of gal because I walk A LOT. But, the subway is a different story. You know how sometimes the train starts just as your about to sit down? Well, as my luck would have it, the force of the subway threw my some what strong ankles into a frenzy and I went flying on to the lap of a fellow rider. I felt like I was in a scene from a bad movie. I was about as graceful as a donkey and felt like one too. We will give the shoes a try. I'm sure I will see more embarrassment in the hours to come.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Blogging for Bill

Clinton that is... Mr. President. Some one created a blog where you can send your best wishes to the former president. I think I am going to post something in regards to how much I appreciated him as a President. But, I do hope he is doing well.

Check it out

The gods must be crazy

Would you sell me your soul for a dollar? Write it down. I sell confessconcran my soul and upon my death I will receive one dollar. You won't do it right? I wouldn't. Last night I walked into class and this was the first question posed to me. Would I write down and sign a piece of paper that would forfeit my right to my soul? NO, why not? Upon further discussion it was decided that it was not the incomprehensible function of the soul but the writing itself. If I write something down, sign my name, and give it to some one else for safe keeping, I feel as if I am bound to that contract. No matter how ridiculous that contract may seem, It could come back and bite me in the butt at a future date and time.

Another interesting point that Prof. Thaler brought up was the immobility of technology. On one level technology is an "information highway". At first there is an incubation period. It takes time to figure out what this technology is and how it can be used. But once this period has ended, it becomes as necessary to one's environment as the grass and trees that surround them and give them life.

In the film The gods must be crazy, a documentary of sorts that compares a African village to a major African city, the contrast between a civilized and a primal world seems almost humorous. The plot of the film goes as such, some one carelessly drops a coke bottle into a village that thrives of off only that which their land provides. This coke bottle that was "sent from the gods" seems like a gift. It was harder than any material that they had ever known. They could function more efficiently with this bottle made of glass. It played music, smashed roots, and was god for skinning snakes. It seemed to be a multipurpose tool that every one suddenly needed to have.

Does this scenero sound familiar? I can think of more than one example in my life. The Internet, TV, and ipod.

In the conclusion of the segment that we watched, the villagers decide to return this evil coke bottle to the gods. It caused fighting and violence. It was a disruption in their peaceful and simple life style. But how could they smash roots with bone again? After the technology was there, they can always think back to how easy it was. Thus, creating want, sadness, and nostalgia.

Imagine a day with out your cell phone? I'm sure it felt something like that.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Even Birds are Homeless under Bush

Every fall, after raising their young near Teshekpuk Lake and the Colville River, tens of thousands of geese and tundra swans leave the North Slope of Alaska for more southerly shores. Some end their journey at the Pocosin Lakes National Wildlife Refuge in the flatlands of North Carolina.

Both habitats could be transformed if current Bush administration initiatives come to pass. The birds would have oil rigs as neighbors in Alaska and be greeted by Navy jets simulating carrier takeoffs and landings in North Carolina.

That such projects could bracket the birds' path is not surprising in light of the priorities of the administration. Over the last three and a half years, federal officials have accelerated resource development on public lands. They have also pushed to eliminate regulatory hurdles for military and industrial projects.

In a recent interview, Michael O. Leavitt, the administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, summed up the Bush administration's philosophy. "There is no environmental progress without economic prosperity," Mr. Leavitt said. "Once our competitiveness erodes, our capacity to make environmental gains is gone. There is nothing that promotes pollution like poverty."

Read more of New Priorities in Environment


I hate how this man has brainwashed our country. It's not just about the birds. The main problem is the poverty. If Bush hadn't dug us into this combatant web of lies and distruction, we wouldn't be killing in our own nation as well.

Senator James M. Jeffords, the Vermont independent who is the ranking minority member on the Environment and Public Works Committee, wrote in an e-mail message: "I expect the Bush administration will go down in history as the greatest disaster for public health and the environment in the history of the United States."

Sony control over MGM

Sony close to acquiring MGM in $3 billion deal
By Gary Gentile
Sept. 14, 2004 | LOS ANGELES (AP) --

Sony Corp. is a step closer to acquiring famed Hollywood studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc. in a $3 billion deal that would give it a considerable library of more than 4,100 titles.

The sale would mark the third time billionaire investor Kirk Kerkorian has sold MGM, one of Hollywood's most storied names and once best known for its musical hits like "Singing in the Rain" and "Meet Me in St. Louis."


$3 billion doesn't really seem like that much money any more. I feel like a billion is the new million. Now that lots of people have aquired a billionare status, it just doesn't seem like that much money. I feel like Sony is making out on this deal. 4,100 titles for 3 billion. I spend at least $800 a year on DVD rentals and purchases. I know it's no comparision. But when you consider how much money I make and how much Sony makes. Sony is the winner. What are they going to do with all the movies any way? I hope they keep the roaring lion. How can this guy sell the company three times? Does he keep buying it back just te sell it again? I am going to have to find out more about this.

Nice New Yorkers

Usually on a crowded subway train, I chose not to sit down. Even if I have the chance to squeeze in between two space deprived passengers, I know that one of the other people standing is just dying for a seat. I have had those days myself. After working 13 or 14 hours and walking to midtown the west side and back, there is not a single seat on the train. So using some backwards an inexplicable logic, I have decided that when I don't need the seat I want to let others have it. But, what if I were to ask some one to get up on that one day that I did need the seat? Is it possible that they would just give it to me? Probually. This article shows that New Yorkers are nicer than they make us out to be. Even though it is an unwritten rule that the subway is"first come first serve" I found it interesting that when asked, most riders gave up their seats with little question or complaint.

New York Times
'Excuse Me. May I Have Your Seat?'
Thirty years ago, they were wide-eyed, first-year graduate students, ordered by their iconoclastic professor, Dr. Stanley Milgram, to venture into the New York City subway to conduct an unusual experiment.

Their assignment: to board a crowded train and ask someone for a seat. Then do it again. And again.

"As a Bronxite, I knew, you don't do this," said Dr. Jacqueline Williams, now an assistant dean at Brooklyn College. Students jokingly asked their professor if he wanted to get them killed.

But Dr. Milgram was interested in exploring the web of unwritten rules that govern behavior underground, including the universally understood and seldom challenged first-come-first-served equity of subway seating. As it turned out, an astonishing percentage of riders - 68 percent when they were asked directly - got up willingly.

Quickly, however, the focus turned to the experimenters themselves. The seemingly simple assignment proved to be extremely difficult, even traumatic, for the students to carry out.

"It's something you can't really understand unless you've been there," said Dr. David Carraher, 55, now a senior scientist at a nonprofit group in Cambridge, Mass.

Dr. Kathryn Krogh, 58, a clinical psychologist in Arlington, Va., was more blunt: "I was afraid I was going to throw up."

More than three decades later, the memories are still surprisingly vivid, testimony perhaps to the trauma of their experience and an unintended postscript to a rare study on the delicate subway order.

Two weeks ago, a pair of reporters who set out to replicate the experiment struggled with similar inhibitions. The incredulous reactions they got from riders were the same as well. But they also stumbled upon convincing proof that New Yorkers have mellowed with time. The results were far from scientific, but, remarkably, 13 out of 15 people gave up their seats.

What is in these donuts?

Shares of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Inc. fell Monday after the company said an independent auditor refused to sign off on the firm's second-quarter financial statement until an outside law firm hired by the company's board performed additional work.

The Winston-Salem-based company said in a filing Friday with the Securities and Exchange Commission that the auditor, which it did not name, would not complete its review without the additional information. The company's auditor is PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP.

The Krispy Kreme filing did not discuss the auditor's request, saying only that it concerned "a specific matter relating to an acquisition in fiscal 2004."


Hole-y crap! Krispy Cream Donuts is a owned by a cigerette company!!! No wonder why the donuts are so addictive!

Monday, September 13, 2004

Oprah Gave Whole Audience Brand New Cars

Look at these cars. They are beautiful. I can't believe every one who went to the show today walk away with one for free. I even heard that the car company is paying the taxes on them. As the premier of her 19th Season Oprah decided to go for the big prizes. I wonder if it's going to start getting harder to get ahold of Oprah Tickets. The website says that Oprah is planning the biggest, grandest, multi-million dollar wildest dreams show in history. I guess that what you have to do after 18 years, become a spectacle. Regardless, I wish I was so lucky! Congrats to all of those who walk out with these beautiful cars.

The Drinking Man's Diet

Last Night after splurging on a new pair of Diesel jeans (because all of my old jeans and pants are to big) I stopped by the Monkey. One of the owners pulled out this little yellow paper back book. There was no picture on the cover just black, Times New Roman print: The Drinking Man's diet. The owner read me the opening lines of the book:

"Did you ever hear of a diet which was fun to follow? A diet which would let you have two martinis before lunch, and a thick steak generously spread with Sauce Béarnaise, so that you could make your sale in a relaxed atmosphere and go back to the office without worrying about having gained so much as an ounce? A diet which allows you to take out your favorite girl for a dinner of squab and broccoli with hollandaise sauce and Chateau Lafitte, to be followed by an evening of rapture and champagne?"

The diet was designed for men who can't give up their daily booze or the need to entertain. Food is ample and on par with the ladies man's palette. Drinking distilled alcohol is optional with every meal. I found the book to be informative, well written and humorous. The back of the book has a carb index and also a colesterol count. If I was a drinking man, I would definately take this diet seriously.

Here is some background info. on the diet
Forbes: Your Health
The Drinking Man's Diet
Alan Farnham
So starts a jaunty little pamphlet titled The Drinking Man's Diet that first appeared in 1964. It was published by an equally jaunty San Francisco bon vivant, Robert Cameron, who priced it at $1. (Cameron used noms de plume--first Gardner Jameson and Elliott Williams, later Jeffrey W. Roberts.) In two years, he sold 2.4 million copies in 13 languages. Now Cameron, 93, still jaunty, still a bon vivant and still admirably trim from following his own diet, is reissuing this classic. It can be bought for $4.95 through Amazon.com or through Cameron's own Web site (www.abovebooks.com).

Then and now, the diet is a work of staggering brilliance.

Like Atkins, whose own low-carb diet followed Drinking Man nine years later, Cameron proposes healthful weight loss by reducing one's intake of carbohydrates. As far as it goes, that's fine, since what Cameron's book terms "man-type" food (also "aesthetic" and "gourmet" food) is mercifully low in carbs: well-marbled steaks, thick slabs of fish, salads strewn with Roquefort.


Is there benefit to reading conservative news?

I think that it is important to keep yourself informed. As my History of the Media teacher said, "News is anything that you didn't know." But frankly. I fing picking up a newspaper to frustrating and depressing. There is never any "good" news. On the day to day, I hear about hurricanes and explosive foriegn affairs. People on the streets, in my classes, at my job seem to bring up all the top stories and I stay informed. It's news to me when I hear it and when I talk to some one else about the topic, it is usually news to them. I am a bias party. I only talk abut what interest me. So in my own way, I am an information filter. I try to moniter my "news". Keep it up beat and up-to-date. I read this article on the New York Times this morning. I found it's analytical research quite intriguing. I agree that in it's own bais the news media often filters the news. It is not easy to be unbias especially when you are targeting a nation with a short attention span.

Do Newspapers Make Good News Look Bad?
By EDUARDO PORTER

Published: September 12, 2004

CONSERVATIVE pundits routinely accuse the news media of injecting a liberal bias into coverage of issues from abortion to gun control to gay marriage.

Now, two months before the presidential election, the economy has been invited to the culture wars. In a new paper, Kevin A. Hassett and John R. Lott Jr., economists at the American Enterprise Institute, the conservative research organization in Washington, say they have discovered that economic reporters commit the same archetypal sin: slanting the news unequivocally in favor of the Democrats.
Advertisement

How can a nugget of news like the economy's addition of 308,000 new jobs in March - the biggest monthly gain in about four years - yield a report that The Associated Press labeled "Bond prices tumble on jobs data"? Bias, the researchers suspected.

The two economists combed through 389 newspapers and A.P. reports contained in the LexisNexis database from January 1991 through May 2004, during the administrations of George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. They picked out headlines about gross domestic product growth, unemployment, retail sales and orders of durable goods and classified the headlines' depiction of the economy as either positive, negative, neutral or mixed. Then they crunched some numbers.

They found that Mr. Clinton received better headlines than the two Republican presidents. Even after adjusting the data to compensate for differences in economic performance under the three presidents, the Republicans received 20 to 30 percent fewer positive headlines, on average, for the same type of news, they concluded.

For instance, they said, the unemployment rate in the Clinton administration averaged 5.2 percent, only three-tenths of a percentage point less than it has under George W. Bush. But while 44 percent of Mr. Clinton's headlines on unemployment were positive, only 23 percent of President Bush's headlines on the subject have been upbeat.

They found that as a group, the nation's 10 largest newspapers and The Associated Press were even more skewed. According to the researchers, this group gave Republican administrations 20 to 40 percent fewer positive headlines than those given to Mr. Clinton, on average. Among the top 10 newspapers, they said that all except The Houston Chronicle had a pro-Democratic leaning, though the margin for error in their calculations was too large to be meaningful for most of them individually.

"We have not constructed tests that identify a motive for the bias," Mr. Hassett said. "A desire to aid the political fortunes of Democrats could explain the patterns we see in the data." The research has attracted some interest outside of conservative circles. Christopher D. Carroll, an economist at Johns Hopkins University who served on Mr. Clinton's Council of Economic Advisers, said the paper by Mr. Hassett and Mr. Lott was "the first serious statistical attempt to look at the question that I've seen."

Is Bush Defending our nation or his Repution?

Is Bush trying to make himself the golden god of defense by focusing on one evil and ignoring the rest? Did Kerry use the fire in North Korea as self-promotion in the last strech of the campaign or did he alert the presses because he is as pissed of and feed up with the Bush administration as I am?

Kerry Says Bush Has Ignored North Korean Threat
By DAVID E. SANGER

Published: September 13, 2004

WASHINGTON, Sept. 12 - Senator John Kerry on Sunday accused the Bush administration of letting "a nuclear nightmare" develop by refusing to deal with North Korea when it first came to office.

In an interview, he argued that President Bush's preoccupation with Iraq let the North Korean crisis fester to the point that there were now indications that the country might be preparing to test a plutonium bomb. He presented his charges in a 15-minute telephone call he made to The New York Times.

Meanwhile, American intelligence officials and policy makers scrambled to determine what caused a huge fire spotted Thursday on North Korea's border with China. Secretary of State Colin L. Powell said Sunday that the fire, apparently caused by an explosion, was "not any kind of nuclear event," but he confirmed a report in The Times on Sunday that "there is activity going on at a potential nuclear test site," adding that "we're monitoring this."

While intelligence analysts are still debating whether the activity is a harbinger of a test, Mr. Kerry insisted that the fact that North Korea was threatening such an action was a sign of failed diplomacy. "I think that this is one of the most serious failures and challenges to the security of the United States, and it really underscores the way in which George Bush talks the game but doesn't deliver," he said.

In the past, Mr. Kerry has accused Mr. Bush of ignoring a far larger nuclear threat in North Korea because of his determination to oust Saddam Hussein in Iraq.

"They have taken their eye off the real ball," Mr. Kerry said, his voice almost shaking in anger. "They took it off in Afghanistan and shifted it to Iraq. They took it off in North Korea and shifted it to Iraq. They took it off in Russia, and the nuclear materials there, and shifted it to Iraq."

Mr. Kerry's basic argument, that the Iraq war has diverted attention from more dangerous nations like North Korea, is one he has often used on the campaign trail and in interviews over the past several months.


Click here for full article

Friday, September 10, 2004

New Classes

One: Tuesday night 6pm- History of the Media. Great Class!!! The teacher seems like one of those hippie conception types. Actually, I know he is. At first impression, I could tell we would get along. I think learning should be done as a gaining of knowledge and experience. Dates aren't always important. That is, if they happened in the past. Dates in the future... very important. Don't forget to meet up with so and so or go on that interview. These dates are important. But, the past is the past. I don't care what year they invented the pixelized television. Boring! I recall learning that history is a way to learn from our mistakes and how to improve the future. And I would like to keep it that way.
Assignment #1: I have to log my media usage: tv, internet, book reading, radio, ect. I find this embarrassing because most of my media time is typing on the computer. Some times reading. But my tv, phone usage is minimal. I need some good analysis. Why don't I like to drown myself in excessive amounts of information?? Personally, I think all the input I have is stressful enough.

Two: Classical Hollywood Cinema. 6 pm wed. The teacher gained my approval by trying to learn the names of every one in our 50+ person. I think that this made my second lecture of the week seem more one on one (more like 100) but I was still impressed. In this first class, we talked about Hollywood as an international phenomenon. Did you know that most of the "best" classical (1930-60) Hollywood directors were not born in the US. Hitchcock included.

We also watch Shop Around the Corner with James Stuart (The guy from its a Wonderful Life). I found the movie to be romantic and endearing. They had a way with passion back then. Sometimes you hate some one so much that you can't even realize how much you love them. That is what this movie is all about. Loving for the mind, not the person who carries it. That was the main message at least. I personally thought the ending proved that all people are vain after all. If you are not familiar with this movie, You Got Mail is a modernized remake. I was wisped away by the original. But, I still love you Tom Hanks.

Three: TV and the Information Explosion. 5pm Thurs. Pet Peeves. The teacher talks for the sake of talking. She seems to be a brilliant well traveled woman but she is like my mother. She will try to support one of her own theories with some random often irrelevant tidbit of info. Eventually she strays from her point and is never actually making one. Not that I am one to talk. I am a fan of straying from the story and losing my point. But I don't have any authority. I'm aloud to speak nonsense. I am not getting paid for it. Another thing, she talked about Seinfeld and I think she had not seen more than 5 episodes in her life. Seinfeld is one of those shows that if you don't know exactly what you are talking about or you don't have a specific point of reference, people get offended. There are so many fans of this show that spanned nearly a decade and is still popular in reruns. Worst part about the class: she expects up to read two newspapers and watch a tv broadcast of the news EVERY DAY! I barely have time to nourish myself, never mind do this reading on top of the text book reading that she assigns. I am going to bomb these pop quizzes. "All good journalist should read the paper and know what’s going on in the world" says all journalism teachers. Newsflash: Not every one in Journalism wants to work at the New York Times. Not every one in a Journalism Lecture is even a Journalism student. SO not fun!

First Week

I hate first weeks. I am a stubborn creature who is adaptable but hates change. This week I started a new internship, a new job at the Monkey Royal, and my last academic course load before I become a college graduate this December. What did all these firsts amount to? Tears, mostly. Overload. Does not compute. Johnny five is alive, but can't understand this alien planet.

My roommate got a dog and her boyfriend is her on a surprise visit from Ohio. Nothing is the same. Even Bella has gone mad. She decided to get all tudy on me. I think she is shedding her quills, basically hedgey p.m.s. but more painful. At least, it is for me. On the worst of my worst days, I came home picked her up and tried to feed her and let her stretch her legs. I think it was the same day that my roomate brought him home. To make this story short, Bella bit my face. Her teeth grabbed on to my lip and pushed all the way through, breaking skin on both sides. I probably could have put a ring through it and called it a day. But, I have had enough change and I like my face the way it is.

Moral of the story: I can't wait until I can recognize my life again. Or at least until the floor stops spinning. We will see what happens during week two. I have nothing else to report. I have to gain perspective on this whirlwind that I call a life. But soon, I will have found solid ground. Keep you posted.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Contemplation after a long car ride

I hate coming home after visiting family. I had such an effortless time with them. We drank, played cards, built fires in the middle of the woods and gathered. There was a lot of gathering. It is the thing to do when you live in a city with little money and lots of crime. On my first day their, I heard about two boys who had just been shot in gang related violence. The from page of the Lowell Sun said that police have taken notice and are now dedicated to fighting gang violence, which has been a major problem in Lowell for more than half a decade. I heard that they were shot right near my dad’s best friend’s house. A mother lost her two teenage sons only a few from the couch were I was sleeping.

I hung out with Jenn’s kids; played with them in the pool, watched movies, and took her youngest one for a midday stroll. Jenn is 22. I have known her my whole life and for the 14 years that I lived in Lowell she was like family. Every Friday and Saturday night the parents would gather around the kitchen table leaving six kids to make their own fun. The parents had been friends since high school. Now married and in their early twenties, they made child a village in which to raise their kids. Just like my parents were two decades ago, Jen is 22, married with two little girls. I have a hard time thinking that this could be me. That if I had not left Lowell at age 14, I could have kids of my own.

I am proud of Jenn. She has two beautiful babies, works two jobs, and still makes time to clean and socialize. She seems to have things under control. She is moving out of her mom’s house and getting her own. She looks great. I think that she looks healthier and slimmer than I can ever remember her being. But, I am still weirded out by the gap between me and her. We are roughly the same age. I am worried about my internship and my roommate. She is worried about making ends meet and her three year old who is still in diapers.

It’s an eye opener. I remember where I came from and the people who are really important to me in life and they are all in Lowell. They have grasp into the world that I am living. They don’t understand how hard it was for me to finish NYU and to build a resume. But they do know hard and they do know work. Just a different kind, a kind that I can almost remember but, have never really experienced myself. I sit in my 400 sq apartment in New York City. My half of the rent is as expensive as their mortgage on a family home. I wonder which life is better, I love they way I feel when I’m at home in Lowell. I love the passion and the drama that I don’t really fit into. But, I know this is the place I need to be. I worked so hard to be here and before me, my father did everything he could to give me a “better life”. I guess not better, just bigger and filled with different things. In New York City, we gather. But, it just doesn’t feel like a loving home. New York City life is finding a comprimise between seeing the people you want to see, your friends, and seeing the people you have to see in order to achieve success. You are always surrounded by people but, you never nkow if they are the "right" ones.

Stuck in Corners

I hate painting corners. I spent hours painting a display cabinet at my father's best friend’s house and now matter how careful I was, I could never get the corners quite right. I switched from the big brush to the small and with the slightest slip of my hand I was streak white across the vibrant orange back drop. I tried painting lefty and righty, standing on a chair, and hunching over sideways but I couldn't quite tackle the corners. I needed painter’s tape, the thick paper thin security blanket, to save myself from the angles that I deemed impossible. But, there wasn't any to be found. How can you reach painting perfection without tape? You are going to have to stop, take your time, go over spots that you thought were finished, and ultimately get frustrated because things aren't going the way you plan.

Sometimes you feel like a golden god who could paint the tightest of corners. Sometimes you want to throw the brush across the room jump up and down cursing bloody murder. But, like any time consuming skill or trade, the effort is always worth it. When I finished painting the cabinet, I just moved on to the next thing that had to be done. I just kept painting till I was tired and lost all ambition to continue. And when this time came, I saw my work. I saw layers of patience and time, passion and achievement. Despite my fleeting anger and momentary frustrations, everything looked completed and well managed. No one is going to notice the minor imperfections. And if they do, what do I care? They didn’t take the time to paint it. They weren’t the one’s who ruined their favorite jeans or found paint in their hair two days later. I am playing the game of life with out a security blanket and honestly, just like my paint job, I don’t think I am doing all that bad.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Labor Day in Lowell

I am spending the long weekend in my home town of Lowell. Right now, I am at my childhood family friend's boyfriends house. Even I am confused. Five kittens are climbing over my feet and licking my toes. Not only am I allergic to these cute chubby littel monsters but, I am incredibly ticklish. It's the best combination. Good humor and friends. Kittens and ichy eyes. I'm looking forward to a very interestin weekend.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

This Land is My Land

JibJab always comes up with clever cartoons that are funny and "right on". My dad showed me this cartoon that was emailed to him by a friend. It features Bush and Kerry and the tune that we all sang in third grade "This land is your land, this land is my land..." The tune to which, has been stuck in my head since I saw the cartoon three days ago. See for yourself. Highlights include Bush slaughtering the spelling to my home state, Kerry dressed as a "weiner", Bush riding an atomic bomb (and surprisingly not falling off of it), and Kerry repeatedly bragging about his purple heart. I think that this cartoon is the presidential race in a nut shell. Great Job, Jib Jab! You should also check out their blog, the JibJab Times. I love their work.

Aversion to meat

Three weeks and counting. I have not eaten a scrap of animal flesh in three weeks and I feel amazing. Why, I don't know? But a vegetarian life can be as full and as tasty as any other diet. It's restrictions are fairly simple, no meat. I also tend to stay low on the pastas and starches. There are a lot of vegetarians who skip over the soy products and go straight for the mac and artificial cheese.

This isn't the first time that I have gone meatless for an extended period of time. Last year, at about the same time I jumped on the tofu wagon until Christmas. The problem is, since I’m not not eating meat for a cause, I can't refuse the round table of family and friends with a big ol' chuck of dead animal in the center. My mother and my grandmother spend hours in the kitchen and this is tradition. It is my family tradition to eat meat when we gather, to talk and enjoy our time together over this hard earned meal.

My vegetarianism definitely isn't a pity thing. I love animals and eventually they will fall to a higher power on the food chain. But then again, I have always had trouble eating anything that I consider "cute". I chose not to eat rabbit, lamb, deer, or any other fuzzy frolicker. I also had a strong aversion to meat on the bone. It makes me want to barf. I just don't have that nathanderial urge to eat some animal carcass. If anything, I have a primal urge to die from survival without meat.

But strangely, I find that when I leave Manhattan, I tend to want meat. Instead of the vege-option looking appealing, I want a big hunk of steak. My taste buds revert back to my former, kind-hearted, open-minded self. All of my NY accomplishments and life decisions are thrown out the window the second I am with an old friend. Part of me thinks that I am a wimp and that I know that no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to rationalize my not liking meat to them. The other part of me feels like its a Freudian thing, I haven't been a vege for long enough. When I am put back into my old ways, my subconscious desires different things.

The other prodominant factor is that I haven't decided that eating meat is wrong or that I don't want to do it ever. I just feel better, eat healthier, and more energetic when I pass for the grass. My head feels less weighty and my body processes the soy better than flesh. I don't know if this is something that I will maintain forever. I know that for now it feels good so I am going to stick with it. Maybe later, I will reevaluate and become carnivorous again. But, I hope that I realize the benefits that pushed me to the vege in the first place. I don't want to be part of a fast food nation. I like well-prepared, health-cautious foods. Power to the vege that brings power to me!