Day 1- I hate hospitals

Matt called Rob’s work and found out that Rob had recently been taken off medication for seizures. This little bit of information helped me breath again. I didn’t know what had caused it. But from what I had seen and heard, there was no logical explanation or trigger for such a violent attack.

11:55 AM - As the ambulance pulled into the back entrance of Brooklyn Hospital, Rob was awake though barely coherent. On the ride over, the EMT and I were trying to cox Rob into taking the oxygen from his face mask. The EMT placed the clear mask over his mouth but as the blood puddled and dripped from his chin, Rob mindlessly blotted his chin with blood soaked gauze.

12:02 PM- I stood over Rob’s hospital bed. The doctor told us that he needed to put on a gown, but with his chin still bleeding, I didn’t want to take the risk of helping. The older man in the adjacent hospital bed was curled into a ball, tired, and quiet. The sound of his heart meter flat lining would haunt me as long as I was allowed to stay in the emergency room. Rob didn’t remember the seizure and was barely aware of his being in the hospital.

12:40 PM- I walked outside to update Matt on set. "Yeah everything is ok. He keeps saying how sorry he is and that he hopes that this doesn’t slow anything down. Yeah, I know. I told him not to worry and that the most important thing right now is that he is ok and feels better. "

I hate hospitals, the sight of blood and the overwhelming stench of death. Being there made me feel hungry for comfort, but I had to act as though nothing was bothering me. When I went back inside, I told rob about all of my tragic/embarrassing ER trips and comforted him by staying strong and being positive.

"No he seems ok. Just really spaced out. Yeah he is a worried that he freaked every one out. I told him that from what I know of you guys, you probably formed a circle to decide how to continue; made sure every one was ok, asked if about any issues or concerns, and decided to continue shooting in his honor."

When I returned to set almost and hour later, I was told that this is exactly what I had missed.